It has taken me a long time to be ready to announce this life-changing news. For many reasons I have not been able to say about it, but the main reason, is that I was questioning what others would say on the matter. However, since the start of recovery, my message to others has been to follow what your heart desires, ignoring what people may think because they don’t lead your life, you do.
So it is from this quote, that I can finally reveal that I am studying to be a gym instructor with ‘PT Academy’. Throughout my whole life, sports as played a huge part in my happiness. It gave me a buzz like no other activity growing up. Being involved in teams, allowed me to gain communication skills, and develop a good sense of support for others. The way that life has taken me, has shown me that this passion I have for wanting to help others, as well as raising awareness for change, can be possible within the fitness industry. Since taking up strength training, my love for being active has never been stronger, and it has given me a better focus for my own self-belief and confidence that anything is possible.
You may also know that I also have a creative side. The imaginary scenes that I wish to bring to life, are apart of my determination to make a difference to the world, in how society sees mental illnesses. Some of you will be shocked to hear that I am choosing to embark on another path, that see that I am turning away from my love for art. But you do not see it from my perspective, as I have spent a long time contemplating this decision. For as much as I dream of making it as a successful fine-art photographer, I have to think of the long-term and how I could make a living, without it becoming a job I have to constantly push myself to actually do.
If I want to create art, I could not do that under someone else, or having others try to influence my work. It couldn’t be that way, as I am an independent person when it comes to the arts, my imagination is all I need to guide me. The down sides to the arts, is that having a sustainable income is not easy, and very few people get to make it in my specialism. No matter what, I will always have photography in my life, it is apart of me that will never fade. The visions I see, press heavily on my mind until I start to make them reality. So it may not be that my entire life will be dedicated to it, the dream is always there.
Some people may also be judging me because of what I have been through, and that my decision is purely based on my eating disorder. That I crave the control, restriction and athletic lifestyle that is so desired by many people. However, they couldn’t be further from the truth. Again, it has taken a long time to make this decision, to fund my own way into the fitness industry, and I wouldn’t throw money at something that I wasn’t serious about, or even thought for one moment I was being dictated to by my illness. Recovery has taught me more about who I am than anything else. It gives you chance to see what your positives and negatives are, and then you use those negatives in your advantage. No one could ever know me like I know myself. There is nothing more that I want from life than to make a difference in whatever way I can. So personally, it makes sense that with my dedication to training along with my hope to help others one day, could come together to make me a great person to teach others to better themselves in body and mind.
What matters the most is how I feel about my life. If it makes me happy then I should pursue it. Just over a year ago now, I made a conscious decision to never go back to how things used to be. Learning to be mindful of choices and actions I make, has give me chance to think twice about taken the next step. With this choice, I am so glad to have put that first foot forward into a brighter future.
I hope you can respect my decision, and gain something from it. Make your life exactly how you want it. Don’t let what others believe in or feel about your life rule how you lead it. Be the best you can be, whatever you may be doing or aiming towards, because this is it, there is no rehearsal.