There was no doubt that I needed to take a break. But if you asked to do so a few months ago, I would have simply said “yea” and carried on with my busy schedule, working my socks off to get my business going, whilst trying to progress my blog/vlog so that I can help so many more of you out there to become more mindful, self-confident and learn to love your true self – but it came at a price.
As a consequence of plowing all my time and energy into work, I found myself becoming increasingly more stressed, my anxiety rocketed and I was starting to become mentally and physically drained from it all.
So at some point in March, my mum told me “you are having a break…you need some time to recharge your batteries” and so plans started to happen and before I knew it, the day arrived when I was setting off on my own for the first time, travelling across the sea.
You might argue that I actually wasn’t alone for the trip because I was staying with relatives who live in Jersey. However, I was there only guest, everything was experienced by me and only me on my new adventures on the island. I believe that I had a glimpse into what it could be like if I were to really go all out and set off around the world as an independent woman (little bit of destiny’s child for you there!).
The island itself is so picturesque, even with the weather being rather rubbish. I was taken back by its natural beauty, surrounding every road, path and shore line. It is a small place, but I quite like that about it. You really get a sense of comfort in the fact you don’t have to go far to be in good company, lovely surroundings or to explore some of Jersey’s treasures.
I was lucky enough to have the converted antic bedroom all to myself, which to gave me my own space, to take time out for me, reflect and relax away from anyone else. It was just what I needed, but didn’t realise it until a good 48 hours later.
If you have already seen in my travel vlog, I spoke about what happened at the beginning of my time away, and it really did open up my eyes to where I have been at mentally (not to sound insane!) It was caused by a trigger, and get my anxiety off really high. I didn’t want to be there. It was not where I wanted to be at all. I was not enjoying myself enough – it was a huge disappointment and pressurising. Didn’t want to be around anything or anyone because of it, but where would that have got me?!
So I had to speak up, for as much as it hurt to admit what was happening for the fear of judgement from others. However, those thoughts were to be proved so very wrong. My parents, auntie and uncle were understanding of where I was coming from, and provided me with solutions to the problem in hand, which made me calm down and think more logically about it.
Turns out my anxiety was not down to what had just happened, but related to how I have been in the past six months – stressed, worried and always over-thinking everything. This is a seriously bad trait of mine, one that I am slowly working on with CBT, but I am beginning to become more self-aware and more in tune with how my body and mind is feeling.
For as much as I aspire to live out all my dreams, the pressure I put on myself is completely unnecessary. We can so easily get caught up in our routines, that can really get the better of us if we loose sight of why we started in the first place. It takes over, controls you sub-consciously to neglect your wellbeing. By taking yourself away from the daily grind, where that be a few days to the country, city or around the world, you can start to re-assess your circumstances and work out how to improve them.
Strolling along the gorgeous beaches, listening to the tide rolling gently in and out, was peaceful. You are able to connect back with the world, remember the foundations we are built on, the natural wonder that is our planet, the roots to our very existence and what we truly seek out of life.
What the future holds is opportunities to learn, grow, discover and become a better version of yourself. There will be blimps in the way, obstacles you must face but ultimately there is always a way to turn it around and use it to your advantage.
Going away has been the best thing I could have done for my clients, my business, my loved ones and for myself. Can only hope that things blossom from here, taking me to places I never thought imaginable for me – but it all begins with positive thinking and actions to follow through.
To see more of what I got up to over in Jersey, please watch this video that is on my YouTube channel – let me know what you think!
Stay tuned for another blog post about Jersey and what to do and where to go if you ever go there – highly recommend it!